|Why is it called Dave's Planet? Cause I was here first darnit! Well, Leigh was with me too but since it was his fault we crashed here in the first place, I got to name it.
So there we were, tooling around the backwaters of one of the spiral arms of this galaxy when I walked in and find Leigh busy watching Venucian porn videos instead of piloting the ship!
"Damnit Leigh, this is the third time this week..."
"Relax Dave, don't blow a blood vessel, we're in the middle of nowhere. Besides I left it on autopilot" he says, "Say, turn the thermostat down on your way out, it's getting too warm in here".
"It's not the thermostat you idiot, we're burning into the atmosphere of some deserted hunk of rock in the back end of nowhere!"
An unknown time later, our intrepid explorers regain conciousness amid the debrie of their ship.
"See Leigh, I told you we should have taken the insurance option, now we'll never get our rental deposit back. What can you see out there?"
"Oh Davey boy" says Leigh as he looks out a cracked window, "remember that lizard you bought back on Alpha Prime?"
"What about it?"
"Think about that lizard, only bigger, much much bigger".
"What, you mean like a kimodo dragon?"
"Oh, just a teensy bit bigger" he teased
"Quit jerking me around Leigh, what do you see out there" I snapped just as a giant row of teeth, each one the length of my arm pierced the ships hull, missing Leigh and I by inches, and leaving a lovely skylight for me to finally see out. I remember distinctly taking one look at the monstrosity that had just eaten a large hunk of our ship and saying to Leigh, "oh, those have GOT to go!".
And so the dinosaur became extinct, and after some minor genetic twiddiling with the local primates to make them larger and smarter (and to get rid of some of that hair!) we had a few amusing pets to keep us company. Not too bright, but handy with tools and entirely too curious.
"You better keep those under control Dave, who knows what trouble they could cause if they got loose..."
And so, my little primate friends, welcome to Dave's Planet!
Email me at Dave@DavesPlanet.net